Which Kind of Psychopathic Serial Killer Are You?
If you’re a regular Facebook user (yup, I’m on about those guys again!), no doubt you’ve come across the endless barrage of quizzes aimed at pumping up your ego and making you appear to be a far better and far more superior human being than you actually are. Frankly, I’ve had about enough of these nauseating boosts for the ego. Just think, if we had this many wonderful, giving, loving, saintly, selfless people living in this world, it would truly be paradise – and we wouldn’t be in the big fat mess we’re in.
But we all know that we don’t, and it isn’t.
Let’s get real. The developers of these ego-stroking quizzes need to start making these apps more representative of modern-day society, rather than this barf-bag orgy of vomit we’ve been seeing all over the place. I say develop quizzes for REAL people, the people we meet every day, the people we work with, the people we drive on the freeways and motorways with, the people we ride on the subways and buses with, the people we live with or live next door to, the people we give our hearts to and take to our beds to love with.
I’m sure you’re going to accuse me of being a pessimist. Well, I prefer to say I’m a realist. I mean, there’s only so many times you can get kicked in the crotch before you finally wake up and smell the latte.
So here are some examples of the kinds of quizzes I believe more accurately portray the world in which we live (and they’re automatically copyrighted by having been published here, so developers – keep your geeky little hands off!):
♦ Which Kind of Nasty Sociopathic Neighbour Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Jealous Vicious Trouble-Making Best Friend Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Scumbag Cheating Husband/Wife/Boyfriend/Girlfriend Are You?
♦ Which Kind of I-Make-Everybody-Sick Soccer Mom Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Meddling Parent/Inlaw/Relative Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Skanky Trailer-Park Trash Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Lager-Lout Football Hooligan Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Sticky-Fingered Shoplifter Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Deadbeat Insurance Defrauder Are You?
♦ Which Kind of I’m-Too-Lazy-To-Get-Off-My-Fat-Ass Welfare Cheat Are You?
We can also extend this to those employed in specific professions:
♦ Which Kind of Shyster Pad-My-Clients’-Bills Lawyer Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Incompetent Never-Once-Cracked-Open-Gray’s-Anatomy Surgeon Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Crooked Raiding-The-Public-Coffers Politician Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Scamming Madoff-Loving Investment Consultant Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Embezzling Empty-My-Clients’-Pockets Accountant Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Thieving Overpaid/Over-Bonused Banker Are You?
And lastly, for those who hail from, shall we say, the more fringe elements of society:
♦ Which Kind of Fanatical Political Terrorist Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Psychopathic Serial Killer Are You?
♦ Which Kind of Dimwitted Facebook Application Developer Are You?
Please feel free to add more!
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