You know that expression “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings”? Well, I don’t even give her a chance to open her mouth! I apply this methodology to my professional life and to my personal life. Alas, the latter hasn’t proved as successful as the former, but we aren’t here to talk about that, are we?
Indeed, I’m not the kind of woman who takes “no” for an answer. When I started out in this literary gig, I knew the odds were hugely stacked against me. Hell, they still are. You think it’s easy to sell a book? – especially when you refuse to churn out the same shite everyone else does? I’m definitely my own drummer, and when I think what I’m doing is right, there’s no convincing me otherwise.
Case in point: my book of solo short stories Erotic Fairy Tales: A Romp Through the Classics. How I laugh when I hear some precious writer grumbling that their precious novel went to seven publishers before it finally found a home. Seven? What is seven? Try fifty, baby, then you can start grumbling! Yes, my little masterpiece went to about fifty publishers worldwide. I even had a literary agent working on it for a year (and believe me, I’ve lost track of the number of agents I’d submitted the thing to before I went with this one). Not that he did sweet FA, other than collect money off me for every conceivable cost, save for loo roll. (Wait, I think he did bill me for a jumbo pack of Charmin!) Half the publishers the manuscript was submitted to were ones I suggested to Mr. Literary Agent, the other half he came up with – and they were totally off the wall, including some tiny press in Georgia that only publishes poetry. WTF?
Fine, I’m used to always having to do everything my own damned self, since no one ever does anything right – and that’s if you can count on anyone to do it in the first place. But come on. I even had to track down an editor because my manuscript was returned unread, along with a letter stating that said editor no longer worked at said publishing house. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this a clue to find out who took his place in order to then resubmit the material – and indeed, to submit to the original editor at the new publishing house as well? Apparently that took a bit of common sense and initiative, neither of which my so-called literary agent possessed. No wonder every time I phoned the guy he always sounded as if he’d been asleep… which he probably had been. Ah, well, I suppose it beat the New York agent who had a dog barking incessantly in the background while she tried to convince me over the phone to shell out 500 bucks to her to read my manuscript. Had I done so, I’m sure it would have ended up as one of those “my dog ate my homework” deals.
Undaunted by the blatant hopelessness of my situation, I resumed control of my product and re-embarked upon the quest to find a publisher. I submitted far and wide, to publishers in every corner of the globe. Had there been publishers on Mars, I would have submitted to them too. In fact, I was running out of publishers. Oh, the despair! Finally I put together my last batch of mailings and headed to the post office (which by this time was thriving thanks to my generous patronage). This was it. If it didn’t happen, it wasn’t going to happen – there was no one left.
The next morning my phone rang. It was a publisher, and she wished to speak to me about my fairy tales manuscript. I was asked to come to their San Francisco office for a meeting. Since I lived in Sonoma County at the time, this was fairly easy. Besides which, I always welcomed any chance to drive across the Golden Gate Bridge – I still do, in fact!
And that’s the tale of how Erotic Fairy Tales: A Romp Through the Classics finally saw the light of day. The book has sold so nicely and has been reprinted so many times that Cleis Press decided to publish a second edition – the now renamed In Sleeping Beauty’s Bed: Erotic Fairy Tales. I invited author Tobsha Learner to write a special forward, along with some words of praise on the back cover provided courtesy of author Nancy Madore. The book will be out in autumn 2009 and is already available (HINT HINT!!) for pre-order at the lovely Amazon.com.
So you tell me who was wrong: all those publishers who passed on my book, or me?
It’s unsettling how many so-called agents ask (or demand) for some sort of payment. Of course, the only agents anyone writer should take seriously are the ones that ask for *no* money upfront.
Dear Mitzi, one day we shall meet and there will be not fairy tales but just tales.
Not only do you put a smile on my face, and a giggle flowing from my mouth…You inspire me, Mitzi! I wish I was half as brave, and had one ounce of your will. I have never hired an agent, nor sent 1/4 of my work out, meaning I have it just gathering dust. My series was published, not because I sent it back out..lol. But ,because I was approched by a book scout that was following one of my sites. The book had been sent back three times, so I re-wrote it, dropped it to the side and carried on..lol. I have the absolute worse skill for a writer when it comes to finding companies, agent, people…ect. Thank you for this story…It just in a wee way, shamed me for being so lazy! *Blush*
I for one am grateful that you got that call…Your humor rocks, and this chic cannot wait to read your work!!! Have a great night, and once again, thank you so much for sharing with us!
Hugs~Robin
gosh i’m blushing here! x
Definitely all those publishers
Fifty? Luxury. When I were a lad…
The first book I had published went through the hands of 102 publishers before I got a contract (and it’s still in print ten years later). Not trying to outdo you, but making the point to other readers that you have to keep trying. Write. Submit. Keep writing. Keep submitting.
I had an agent a bit like yours as well. She got the boot when I realised just how much (little) work she was doing.
I’m back on the trail again with my latest novel (and it would be nice to have a quality agent doing the hard work for me), but if I can’t interest one of those I’ll start on the publishers.
Write. Submit. Keep writing. Keep submitting.
Sometimes even getting published isn’t what it’s cracked up to be…I thought everything was cool when a publisher picked up my third book, but they left it on their site as an E-book and never promoted it (you had to click through three different web pages to find it). To be sure, I tried to promote it myself, but didn’t have buckets of $$$ to throw at it. I’m glad the new one found a home in paperback, hopefully this one will do better.
I too have seen unsavory agents at work…however, my last agent (who was combination literary and theatrical) was up to her eyes in clients, worked like a horse, never charged anybody and kept losing money. My heart went out to her, I helped out at her office when I could. If I were an agent I think some charges would be justified, but not to the point of ‘milking’ your clients.
Best, K.K.
oh it’s definitely not what it’s cracked up to be. the word “anticlimax” springs to mind. as for agents, i agree that normal office costs like say, postage, long distance calls etc may be kosher to recoup from a client, but not charging a flat fee for each submission being sent out that exceeds the cost of postage and handling by 6 times the original amount. that is NOT kosher.
your stories are SUCH an inspiration. I love reading them. Persistence pays off, that’s for sure, lol! Congrats on “In Sleeping Beauty’s Bed”. (^_^)
I loved reading this. It amazes me still when I hear of people talk about how authors must have agents to get published, and that only books published in print by large New York publishers are real books. I wish agents and the publishing industry would realize that things are changing. Technology not only lets authors self-publish, but it also lets us track down publishing houses and editors, much as you did, to find the best place to send our work. Many writers have had to become their own agents to succeed, and I’m glad you took control of your book and saw success!
Thanks Mitzi, you’ve inspired me to haul myself back to my feet and try a few more places with my novel, which has just been blasted back from yet another publisher at twice the speed of sound… 🙂
Mitzi, I think the editors you sent your stuff to got up on the wrong side of the bed. Perhaps a couple of them had fights with their significant others the night before, and couldn’t see straight the day they read your sub. But publishing I find out is the easy part. Marketing is tough, and you seem to do quite well at that. Congratulations and many balloons!
Barbara
glad i’ve offered some encouragement and/or inspiration in a profession that offers sadly little of either! good luck in your quest for your holy grail!
You’ve reinforced the value of persistence, and have clearly inspired many to keep at it despite the sting of rejection.
The thing I love about this business is the way it forces writers to grow thick skin. And the way it winnows out those who refuse to do so. Darwinian, but necessary.