Oh, for the good old days when I actually had someone say that to me! Now I’m rarely to be found on Skype. Out of curiosity, however, I ventured on fairly recently, logging on as “Away” just to see who was around. Well, let’s say that I got a lot more than I bargained for.
No sooner did I become visible than my laptop began to ring with that distinctive weirdy spacey Skypey ring – and it’s some strange name not even on my contact list, some guy from Slovakia. Well, I don’t know anyone from Slovakia, or at least not anyone who’s on my Skype. Figuring it to be a “wrong number,” I didn’t answer. The ringing stopped, only to start right up again. I ignored it, though I admit I wondered how this Slav could be getting it wrong twice in a row. The ringing ceased, then again it started back up. Three times unlucky? No way. Clearly someone really wanted to speak to me. Curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to plug in my headset and answer… because whoever this Slavic geezer was, he was not going away any time soon.
What next transpired had to be one of the most surreal conversations I’ve ever engaged in – and that includes all the surreal interplanetary ones I had with my former Skype partner. Since I was already logged into Facebook, I decided to update my status message to reflect my current activities, posting comments beneath my update to record for posterity all that was taking place.
Here follows the full Facebook commentary with both my comments and those of my friends (whose names have been changed to protect the innocent):
Mitzi Szereto who in hell is stefan from slovakia and why is he phoning on my skype? who IS this guy?
18 March at 22:47
Mitzi Szereto at 22:49 on 18 March
bardejov, slovakia. WTF???????
i don’t speak bloody slovak. he’s not even on my list.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:50 on 18 March
i’m gonna call him now. so there.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:51 on 18 March
shit he’s calling again.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:51 on 18 March
i am speaking to him now
Dougie Moorehouse at 22:51 on 18 March
at least he isnt a prince from nigeria:)
Mitzi Szereto at 22:52 on 18 March
he is in budapest.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:52 on 18 March
i don’t know this guy.
Wez Whitton at 22:53 on 18 March
that’s scary… skype stalking… that’s something new.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:53 on 18 March
he can hardly speak english.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:55 on 18 March
he found me randomly. just called on skype and got me.
Benjie Levy at 22:56 on 18 March
Chwat zchizz yuur zscname, chbabyiszsch?
Mitzi Szereto at 22:57 on 18 March
he knows my name.
Wez Whitton at 22:57 on 18 March
lol@ Benjie… dat’s funny shitnizsch.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:57 on 18 March
this is hysterical.
Wez Whitton at 22:58 on 18 March
get his number and hand it out to everyone you know with skype and have them randomly call him.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:58 on 18 March
he does quality control for chickens.
Mitzi Szereto at 22:58 on 18 March
this is scary.
Wez Whitton at 22:58 on 18 March
lol@chicken plucker….lol
Wez Whitton at 22:59 on 18 March
dat makes you grade A poultry Mitzi…lol
Mitzi Szereto at 22:59 on 18 March
he also does something with jacuzzis
Mitzi Szereto at 22:59 on 18 March
and meat
Wez Whitton at 23:00 on 18 March
hmmm..chickens…jacuzzis…this is bordering on illegal stuff now…lol
Mitzi Szereto at 23:00 on 18 March
and also fabrics.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:01 on 18 March
he also tests cameras.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:01 on 18 March
he is clearly a busy man.
Roberto Rachet at 23:02 on 18 March
Slovakia, Budapest is bloody Hongaria not Slovakia, and anybody doing quality control for chickens I woudn’t take seriously, but then again you never know.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:03 on 18 March
he has the old skype and likes it. he isn’t so crazy about new skype.
Cat Babinsky at 23:03 on 18 March
Like bees to honey (LOL)!
Mitzi Szereto at 23:04 on 18 March
i told him to call some chickens.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:04 on 18 March
he laughs a lot.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:04 on 18 March
he can’t understand me very well.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:04 on 18 March
bloody foreigner
Roberto Rachet at 23:04 on 18 March
where does he find time to stalk you!!!!
Mitzi Szereto at 23:05 on 18 March
we got disconnected and i am leaving it that way and not going to pick up. he is ringing again. go away.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:06 on 18 March
he is calling me again. he will not give up.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:07 on 18 March
he cannot even speak english why is he bloody phoning me back?
Murial Fountainhead at 23:07 on 18 March
what language is that?
Roberto Rachet at 23:07 on 18 March
I mean chickens and cameras and jacuzzis and meat and all the rest of the C..P well at least he has shown a good taste in people to stalk
Mitzi Szereto at 23:08 on 18 March
i have such a headache now.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:08 on 18 March
christ now he is messaging me.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:08 on 18 March
he is saying he’s sorry he knows i’m busy. lol
Mitzi Szereto at 23:09 on 18 March
what is it with these slavs?
Richie Szabo at 23:09 on 18 March
Roberto what da hell r u talking bout??? Budapest is capital of Hungary. Slovakia is a country which capital is Bratislava and they speak slovak. The Hungarians speak Hungarian obviously. Nd these 2 languages are completely different. Anyway, I wouldn’t take him seriously too.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:12 on 18 March
it’s all weird richie. totally weird. he has a slav name, he is listed on skype as being in slovakia, and he tells me he lives in budapest and does quality control for chickens, cameras, and jacuzzis.
Jeannie Dottie at 23:13 on 18 March
LOL. I needed a laugh so thanks for this – very funny (and thank Gawd I don’t have skippy-skype!) :))
Dickie Corgan at 23:14 on 18 March
Sounds like a spammer. Block and report him.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:15 on 18 March
spamming what – that he has a million chickens that he needs to send me because he cannot leave budapest?
Mitzi Szereto at 23:16 on 18 March
stefan horniak. lol! surely that name can’t be kosher. HORNIAK? give over mate.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:20 on 18 March
now i got some guy stalking me from plaxo. he’s sending photos to my email. one is with his kid. you can’t be serious.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:23 on 18 March
OMG it’s getting even better. just had an invite sent to my yahoo calendar from roselyn kilpalya, who is a lovely young woman who wants to be loved and she apparently saw my profile and wants a relationship with me. hang on – i’ll paste it here.
Roberto Rachet at 23:23 on 18 March
of course the languages are different I know because I speak both of them an I do know geography as in where is what, but I am curious how do you know that not many here could see the difference.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:23 on 18 March
Nice to meet you, My name is Roselyn,i am tall,slim,fair,and a very good looking girl that loves travelling and dancing, a student,that loves to be loved,i really want to have a good relationship with you after going through your profile i want to find my Love, I am longing to find my soul mate and true love to share all my love and happiness, joy … Read moreand desire and sometimes even sorrow and sadness. kindly permit my contacting you through this medium i am compelled to contact you via this medium for obvious reasons which you will understand when we discuss details of my proposition.Please i will like you to reply to me through my mail address so that we will know each other very well,i am looking forward to your positive confirmation to enable us have an important discussion then we will start from there which will include my introduction,i will send my pictures later. Hoping towards a wonderful lasting friendship with you Thanks and God bless you,
Mitzi Szereto at 23:24 on 18 March
oh boy! could this be the mendiing of my broken heart???
Roberto Rachet at 23:31 on 18 March
oooo lord just dont send any money!!!!!
See how it goes first.
Mitzi Szereto at 23:36 on 18 March
money? lol – what’s that?
Mitzi Szereto at 23:38 on 18 March
hey if she wants to court me she’s got to treat me like a lady. none of this mates kinda shite.
Roberto Rachet at 23:41 on 18 March
Good for you, You go girl!!!!!!!
Roberto Rachet at 23:42 on 18 March
And just in case she says no give her my phone number!
Carla Pretti at 23:45 on 18 March
Mitzi, I find your wall terribly entertaining, I would swap it with an evening out at the cinema and definitely with some ehm… well cooked chicken :)) hihihi….. LOL! El desperados are too many on earth to talk about them all, but watch your back from those scams girl because you are far above them!
Mitzi Szereto at 23:46 on 18 March
tell ya what – you can have her. i know already it isn’t going to work.
Carla Pretti at 23:48 on 18 March
As far as you keep it CONFIDENTIAL XXX!
Mitzi Szereto at 23:49 on 18 March
carla, i only live to see the next day in order to entertain everyone on facebook. i realise i have a responsibility to my facebook friends and my own selfish needs and desires are of no consequence.
Carla Pretti at 23:52 on 18 March
Sweet one, but yourself has still to come 1st 99% of the times!
Mitzi Szereto at 23:52 on 18 March
roberto, here is my suitor’s email address. give it a shot.
roselynkikpalya1@yahoo.com
Mitzi Szereto at 23:52 on 18 March
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Hj7bp38f8
Carla Pretti at 23:56 on 18 March
Ah, ah! Luvd it!
Mitzi Szereto at 23:57 on 18 March
carla dear one, a nice thought, but not entirely realistic. anyway, enough of such talk. when are we going for rose shisha?
Carla Pretti at 23:59 on 18 March
Yeah, we have to arrange. I have not forgotten…
Mitzi Szereto at 00:01 on 19 March
don’t wait too long! i am planning to go to california in a few weeks and will likely be gone for at least a month. x
Carla Pretti at 00:05 on 19 March
OK, will try and get in touch with the 3rd part as well.
Mitzi Szereto at 00:05 on 19 March
excellent. and lebanese food on edgware road. perfection! and if the weather holds out, all the better to sit outside and smoke like a bunch of old arabs just out of mosque. love it!
Carla Pretti at 00:06 on 19 March
LOL!
Mitzi Szereto at 00:10 on 19 March
inshallah.
Mitzi Szereto at 00:11 on 19 March
إن شاء الله
Carla Pretti at 00:11 on 19 March
😉
Lana Rossie at 01:14 on 19 March
don’t kick the slovaks. I have very fond memories of a very fine Slovak…and DAMN, he was fine…
-fin-
I never heard from Mr. Horniak of Slovakia-via-Budapest again. Probably just as well; it would never have worked between us. Not really. I mean, a man who spends his time with chickens? I just can’t see it. I can’t help wondering though if the fact that I’ve not gone back onto Skype since that night might have anything to do with the fact that he’s dumped me…
Oh well…. Another one bites the dust.
AHHHH! LMAO!!!! I always get the creepy guys from the Middle East looking for a ‘rich American.'(Never seems to bother them that I am married.) They seem to assume that women who write romance are ‘desperate.’ GAAAAGGGGG!
Best thing I’ve seen all day! Ta Mitzi! I’ve had foreigners like this before. And a 12 year old girl who claimed she knew how to have sex. Now THAT was a weird afternoon.
I can’t believe how much this made me laugh. I call them trolls… myspace trolls who randomly message you looking for real, phone, cyber sex.. skype trolls, chat trolls… They need more a better hobby.
well, he gave me a good blog so troll away! i’m a very creative person, but a slav living in budapest who inspects chickens – even i couldn’t have come up with that!